More ink to the page...

I told you I wasn't finished! I won't be for a long time. As each new idea hits me, as each new lesson is learned, as my life is lived and as my pages fill, my ink will continue to grow...


Chapter 8 (May 2012): "My Ambition..."
With another trip to Memphis booked, so was another trip to 'Billy Bobs Tattoo Shop'. Its a razor blade script and says "My Ambition has no patience" and at the time, it didn't. I was broadening my horizons and consistently aiming to do better and better. Admittingly, I got away from it, there were some preverbial 'bumps' in the road which hindered my concentration and took me off the task. Unacceptable I know. Its there to remind me that to achieve my goals, I can't sit back and wait for it happen. I can't be patient and wait for mine to come to me I have to go and get it. We all have dreams, aspirations and goals, we all strive to achieve them. Mine, to be happy in everything I do, and with the people I do it with. I understand that I missed my opportunity to take my game to the next level, but I have not missed out on the life that I'm supposed to live. Like everyone else in this world, I was put on this earth for a specific purpose, I live the way I live and treat people and situations the way I do for a purpose. I don't want the rank and I don't want the power.. I want the respect. I wanna know I changed someones life in the better. The "fame" might be nice but I only wanna be famous to the people who's lives I impact in a positive light. Noteriety, fortune and fame ain't shit if you can't spend it with those you love.

Chapter 9 (August 2012):  "Cobra-la-la-la-la"
I'm an 80's baby. Born in 82, and I'll save you from doing the math, I'm 30 now. I was born an only child but was blessed with 2 cousins who have always been close. I don't even refer to them as cousins anymore, they're more brother and sister, but I digress. Growing up, I had alot of toys, I'm not gonna say Mom spoiled me, but she made sure I had what I wanted. (Thanks Mom!!). In my house, it was GI Joes who reigned supreme. From the age of 5-12, if you asked me what toy I wanted, it dealt with GI Joe, anything else was played with, but in a limited fashion. Unless ofcourse it was a vehicle of some sort that my 'Joes' could use. (lol). In our younger days 'the ugliest guy I know' and I would have battles all day long. Bedrooms, Living Rooms, Dens, and even the bathroom were turned into jungles, arctic regions, deserts and oceans. Yes, oceans, (typically the bathroom), we had extensive imaginations. When we weren't having battles, I was still playing GI Joes. Everywhere I went, atleast 4 'Joes' accompanied me, as my 'detail'. Before continuing on, I'd like  to specify, I'm not talking about the GI Joes that looked like Barbies boyfriend (altho Ken would've never hacked it in Sargent Slaughters camp lol). I'm talkin about the ones that measured six inches tall, with the holes in the bottom of the feet, the kung fu grip, the rubber band torso with the moveable legs. The legit 'Joes' that came in the package with a weapon, a backpack, and an 'action stand'. On the back of said packaging, the bio of the 'Joe', a 'Joe' credit, and a list of the popular 'Joes'.

My brother and I were so "deep" into GI Joes that we would get into argurments about who's 'Joe' was who's and the matter would have to be resolved in "family court" (overseen by my Aunt or Mom lol). I can't tell you how many memories I have about playing GI Joe from sun up to sun down. 1 Christmas I woke up at 4 in the morning, to find numerous Joes, new vehicles, and 2 of the large scale 'bases', all open and ready to be played with. So played with I did, for the next 10-14 hours. Paid no attention to anything else that was under the tree and still wrapped until Mom made me take a break. lol. Ahh memories. To commemorate my childhood and love for the GI Joe. I got the 'Cobra'  (hood) inked on the inside of my leg. The idea came from my brother who said I should get it on my chest, I gave it serious consideration, but opted out, besides I'll add more chest ink later. I got the 'Cobra' sign because no matter how many times we played, no matter how many battles and wars we had. I was always delegated the bad guy by my older cousin/brother. I'll always  cherish the memories we had when it came to GI Joe, regardless of if I'm the good guy, or the bad guy...."YO JOE!!"
Shout outs to  Hasone at Exposed in Manassas. Appreciate the work!

 

 



Chapter 10 (September 2012): "I'm the hero"

Know this, everyones life is a story. Whatever the path you choose to walk, is a story in itself. In alot of stories there is the villian, and there is the hero. The villian, well the villian does what typical villians do, they fuck shit up. I know there may be other ways to convey that without the use of 'harsh language' but sometimes you need cut the bullshit and get to the point. (Mom's not gonna like the usage of grammer..."sorry Mom"). I've encountered the preverbial "villian" a time or two before (I've even been the "villian" and no I'm not proud of it),  and I haven't been defeated although at times it felt as if I was at my breaking point. I got this as a bit of a reminder to not only myself, but those who choose to take part (or be a part) of my story. I'm the hero of this story and while it may be bad now, things will get better, because "I'm the hero of this story". I opted for the same font, same style and same color to match my other arm. The only thing different is the size. Namely because my artists Tasha felt she could hook it up better if it was bigger, so I let her do her thing.

 

While I'm on it, let me take a minute to shout out my artist Tasha. She's out of 'Way of Ink' in Springfield and there are only a few other people in the area I will get ink from that aren't her. She's dope, and has been doing it for a while. As soon as she was finished with this, we scheduled my rib piece. See Chapter 11..

 

 

Chapter 11 (November 2012): "Game of life"

It was a foregone conclusion that I was going to get this design, I found it one day and as soon as I saw it I knew I wanted it, I just didnt know when I wanted to get it. Most recently, I went through some things which made me think more and more about the moves and the choices I've made, so to commemorate it, I got inked.

 

So a few years back I was listening to T.I and heard him say something I had (at the time) never heard before, or never really paid attention to at the time. He said "life is like a chess move, you gotta make your next move your best move"...and at the time those words just stuck out in my head. The quote is great because I  play a fairly good game of chess and while I'm not the best, I still might beat you. Another reason is because is its a way I have tried to look at how things play out in my own life. I've observed how certain things and actions play out in others lifes, but I can only take my experiences. I can't repeat the same mistakes, I have to learn and make the next move the best move for me.

 

It basically goes like this, in my "game of life" I have to make my next move, my best move. The pieces of my chessboard represent certain aspects, events, mindsets, situations, a few other various categories, and even some people in my life. With some of the bad decisions I've made, I've lost pieces of my game. Its expected, because you can't go into a game of chess and expect not to lose a few pieces, so those are the pieces that are flying off the table. The game is set on top of an hour glass with a broken bottom bell to symbolize that time is of the essence and it doesn't just wait. ("Time waits for no man"). The sand is for the life of the game that is gradually running out and as its running out there are 2 puzzle pieces sitting on top of it. Theses puzzle pieces have various meaning but I'll put it like this, sometimes you may think you have the tools, the essentials and the pieces to finish the puzzle. But even sometimes regardless of what you have, and no matter how many differnet times you flip the pieces around and try to make them fit, they won't. Sometimes, the shit just doesn't work and you can't make your next move your best move, with pieces that don't fit. It happens to the best of us, and those are the 2 pieces of my puzzle that don't fit. The words  are written along the top, the bottom, and on the pillars of the hour glass..."Make" is across the top on the lining of the board. "Your Next" and "Your Best" are going down indiviual pillars and "Move" is along the bottom.

 

I really love this piece, its definitely my 2nd favorite piece as my other rib piece "Lifes Lessons Learned" is my favorite. Both pieces are symbolic of some changes I have made, some lessons I have learned, and a few regrets I have learned to live with. Tasha from 'Way of Ink' in Springfield, VA hooked this one up too. My original design was good (I found the concept searching the web), but Tasha took it and gave it life. I still remember seeing the finished sketch and how excited I was to start. Wasnt long though before the adrenaline settled and the pain started to creep in. She's not heavy handed, its just there was alot of work on the rib area and that shit hurts. Took it like a champ though, laid there and grunted my way through the 2.5 hours of work. Tasha said I did better than she expected lol. Thanks again Tasha, see you in a few months....

 

 

 

My story will not end, and nor will my ink. We're just getting started because I have alot of space to fill...





#BeYourMan

Its been a long damn time since I posted something new. I had originally planned on posting something else, but thanks to a small mishap with the 'delete' button. I now have to post something else. lol I think these #words are a good start to the New Year. Enjoy

 

You Want Me Be Your Man?

You want me to be your man?

And you want to be my girl.

You wanna team up

And experience a new world

 

You want me to be your man?

You said “its kinda true”

Said that “when I wake up in the morning…

The one I think about is you”

 

You want me to be your man?

You want me to be your guy

You want me sitting there

Hand resting on your thigh

 

You want me to be your man?

Took 4 little words

You want these arms holding you tight

And hands caressing your curves

 

You want me to be your man?

The keys and security codes

Cause we’re on the same page

And driving down the same roads.

 

You want me to be your man?

You want to be with me

 Pick you up, take you out

For all the world to see

 

You want me to be your man?

Exactly what did I do?

Is it cause I’m never false,

Cause for you I’ll be true.

 

You want me to be you man?

But would you brag on me?

Come to my games, cheer me on

And the athlete that I be.

 

You want me to be your man?

Come and say it to my face

Then kiss me on my lips

And put me in my place

 

You want me to be your man?

Wanna call me when you wake.

You wanna thank me for last night

And how we made the earth shake.

 

You want me to be your man?

I can see it your face

You like the attention that I give

And how for u I have a taste

 

You want me to be your man?

And 1 thing is definitely true

A man for you I’ll be

But promise me all of you.

 

You want me to be your man!

And I want you in my life

Who knows where this’ll go

You could end up being my wife

 

You want me to be your man!

Ain’t no looking back

Tired of reading fiction

I only accept the facts

 

You want me to be your man?

You better be true to me

No more high school shit

I graduated w/ a Ph.D.

 

You want me to be your man!

4 full pages about us

Must be something strong,

A feeling that I trust

 

You want me to be your man?

Long distance is a crowded road

A heavy weight to bare alone

So we both gotta lift the load

 

You want me to be your man?

Lets take it nice and slow

Smooth and steady there’s no rush.

Hold on tight, don’t let it go

 

You want me to be your man?

Understand that sometimes I get mad

I have a sarcastic tounge

And it can be pretty bad.

 

You want me to be your man!

I’m a little excited about this

I’ve never experienced this comfort

I never understood this bliss

But as the days go on and on

And the nights pass as they do.

If you want me to be your man

Then a man I’ll be for you.

Appropriately Wired Differently...

Know this...not all men are the same. Some of us are wired differently than the rest. There comes a time when we decide to put aside the bullshit, and start doin the real shit. The games, stop! The fakeness, stops! The lies, stop! And the 'side chicks'...they get permanently pushed to the SIDE! Why? So the real living can begin. So ones all can be given, and in turn received.

It might be hard to find us though...Especially if your still blinded by the bullshit the boys from the past said to you (with an "end game" in mind) As opposed to what the man the that stands before you, shows you (with you in mind). 

I assure you though, we're out here! When (and if) you find us, do 2 things. First recognize that things are different than the last, don't fight it. Second, don't let the man do the time now, for what your boy from the past did then.

Ventilation

'I may be too strung out on compliments, overdosed on confidence, starting not to give a fuck and stop fearing the consequence' - Drake

Ventilation:

They say that "It'll all come together when you least expect it," or they atleast say something similar to that. Shit I don't even know who "they" are or what "it" is, but the point I'm trying to make, is that "it" did come together. I woke up this morning and went through the regular routine like I always do, there was no change, no highlight, just got up, showered, get dressed and went to work. I arrived a minute or so late but I wasn't phased, the work was still gonna get done. I sat down, checked some things, ate some cereal, sent some emails and begin working on some additional work. At some point before 11am though, my attitude changed. I'm pretty sure I know why, but yall don't need to worry about it. Actually, fuck it, yea my attitude changed because of a simple text message. Or perhaps the lack there of a reply.

Now I must admit, it wasn't just the text. I've been kinda of edgy as of late and I guess today was just the straw that broke my back. I began writing something around lunch time to get my thoughts out and truth be told its still not finished (yet) and then I checked my facebook. Low and behold my homeboy 'the photographer' posted something that pretty much was a springboard for my 'ventilation'. A couple people commented and aside from the the photographers wife, they're not important, simply because I don't know them well enough to mention them.

The "photographer" said this... "Ladies please don't let your photoshoped pics, painted faces, plastic surgery, etc get to your head. All of that is fake. The real you is what you see in the mirror when you wake up. Make sure you really are bad before you start talking that talk and try to lose the tude.." It was a random thought on his side, but it might as well be the match the lit my fuse. Actually no, it was more like the detonator to my already primed charge [I've been hanging out with some military folks lately lol]. So I went in on what he said, saying 'say it again, damnit' but as soon as I pressed the enter key I knew it wasn't enough, so I retracted, deleted and re-wrote it first apologizing for the retraction and then pretty much going in on the ladies by saying that "YES, that is real fuckin talk. yall [meaning the ladies] want honesty from the dudes? Then please I invite you to read what the "photographer" just wrote, over and over and over again. Now I'm usually not like this...ask the photographer, shit ask the photographers wife... but the shit is getting to some of yalls heads and its fucking rediculous (<--in my kanye voice). Yes yall are beautiful, thats why we compliment and sometimes even try to get at you. But dont let your 'painted faces' (ha, thats funny) and all around sex appeal effect the the concept of your real inner beauty. period." Seconds later, the "photographer" gave me a kudos in the form of  "That was on point Foots!!!"

But oddly I wasn't finished, people who know me, know I'm about keeping a smile on a face especially that of a rather attractive woman. I prefer smiles over frowns or any other facial expression 9 times out of 10, but I guess I hit my boiling point (like I said, I got pushed over the edge) so I ran with it again.

I had to let whoever was reading it at this point know, that "I'm usually not like this...but fuck it I gotta let em know'. It was like the "Photographer" knew what I was talking about because he threw out his 2 cents on his attraction for "the more natural look." He went on to say that he's "Never been a boobie guy (lol) so implants and all that ain't for me. If u can pull off no make up, sweat pants and some jordans you a winner... A lot of girls these days are plain arrogant and delusional and I place a big part of the blame on dudes that will say and do anything to get some."..It was like dude was lining em up so I could knock em down, I felt exactly where he was coming from, we had similar, yet different, interests, so I let him know that he was on point in his statement, and then said 'anything more than a handful is over the top for me, cause I got some big hands (lol). But yea, I like em in sweats and J's too, but I can't lie, I love it when they're all 'painted' up as well. Perfection would be the way Aaliyah looked in that video with DMX [Back in 1 Piece], good lord...lol. We knew she looked good 'painted up' and what not, but in some sweats, a hoody, and some tims...WOW! And yea, arrogant and delusional (<--agree and agree) and HYFR [Hell Yea Fuckin Right] to what you said about these dudes who will say or do anything to get some cut. Thats not what lifes about. They'll realize that when they either A) get older or B) find someone who'll broaden their horizons further than 30 minutes of 'cut time'. Its dudes like them, that make it hard for real dudes to get anywhere with anyone. Pisses me the F*CK off actually. Step to a good girl and treat her good, don't spit some bullsh*t just cause you trying to hit..." I guess I shocked a few heads because the 'likes' came in and even the "photographers wife" said 'Foots, I knew I fucked with you homie.. well said...well said.."

Whats weird about it though, is I still don't think I got my point across....

It ended as fast as it started (pt.2)

"Hey, I know sh*t get kinda f*cked up sometimes you know, I know you can get kinda carried away with yourself. But uh, why dont you be real with me and be real with you at the same time. You can't get what you get here no where else ma. Keep it real now...You Knowwwwww"  -T.I

It ended as fast as it started...again. She entered his life with the same quickness as she had originally left it and before they knew it, things were back in full swing. Back to doing the things that felt right to do together, back to spending the time that was once a constant in their relationship. (Perhaps the speed at which things picked up is what made him blind). He always had a knack for making her smile and this time around the smiles seemed more genuine than the last. Everytime she did the feelings of the past would temporarily revisit him but he pushed them to the side and stayed caught up in the moment that was then.

He was in denial. Refusing to believe he was making, what others perceived as, a bad decision and some said was a mistake. He didn't head the words that echo'd in his head, and refused to believe that "he was setting himself up for failure."

Things appeared to be different than they once were, because there was actually 'effort' by her as opposed to it all coming from him. Despite their initial seperation, and the conditions that influenced such, it all seemed to flow smoother than before. Before long, he knew it, he was caught up and back to feeling like he had originally felt. Did she feel the same though? In realizing the same old things were happening again, he paused. He didn't want to be caught sleeping like last time nor did he want to be played the fool yet again.

In an effort to better understand the path the two appeared to be heading down, he asked a simple question. It wasn't "that" question, but based on her response, or lack there of, it might as well been. She treated this simple heartfelt no thinking required question it like it was a life altering decision and instead of saying what was in her heart, she remained silent. Silence is a motherfucka and he knew it. She seemed to know silence as a mind fuck. Yet still they kept on, and pushed the "non-resolved" to the side. She appeared to like it that way, continuing on and staying clear of any conversations which could harpen back on the answeer that she had yet to provide. Meanwhile he patiently waited, all while following through with being who he's always been to her.  He was a good dude.

Still though, he wanted an answer to his question, he felt he deserved it, especially based on their 'history'. But in his continued efforts to cater to her needs, which was foolish,  he allowed her what she considered 'time to organize her thoughts'. Nevermind the fact that a hearfelt question deserves a heartfelt response and planning" shouldn't be needed when responding from the heart. He knew this, and  she knew this, but still the words were never spoken (or written). So, holding on to a false hope, he allowed this response (or lack there of) to be adequate enough to continue on. He was foolish and in fact, 'setting himself up for failure'.

It wasn't until 1 night that he made a comment that changed his perception. This comment was slightly related to the avoided question, but more of a flirtation. He saw it as it as innocent in nature, as most of his comments towards her usually are. She however saw it as rude. At that point an all too familiar feeling quickly re-emerged and made its prescence known. He knew that in no time, things would end as fast as they started. But he didn't care at this point because she seemingly didn't care either. In 1 instance he allowed a side of him that she had never seen before to emerge, he let his inner asshole out and through sarcasm made his point about how he is deserving of a response.

He hasn't heard from her since.

It ended as fast as it started...again.

Read between the lines...

Read between the Lines:

It's been a quite a while since I last posted anything to my page. I don't know what's wrong with me, it's not like I haven't had the time to do anything. I actually found myself with more time than usual due to a stoppage in the extra curricular activities that generally occupy most of my evenings or entire weekends. Why? Because in my attempts to play football and a high level on a cold day where I didn't stretch enough, I inadvertently hurt my back and was sidelined for a good month or so. When it happened I told myself that I'd defiinitely be doing some writing while "on the sideline". But 'saying' and 'doing' are 2 different things and a majority of my "sideline time" was spent watching TV or surfing the net. Once again I was overtaken by "lack of following through" or more commonly referred to as laziness.

Actually no, I take that back, I have been following through on a few things, just not  necessarily the things I said I'd follow through on. I've had my eyes trained on and sights "dialed in" on something that...well something that's just creating more stress than needed. I need to just wash my hands of  it and keep it moving though because its not worth the headache anymore. Besides there are other things I could persue that would be less stressful yet more productive.

I need to stop focusing on 'the thought' and instead concentrate on 'the dream' and what it takes to accomplish it. At the end of the day it all comes down to me and I need to stop dragging my feet.

'Our Texts'

I actually wrote this a few months back, before the thought of a blogspot even entered my mind. Thought I'd share regardless.

'Our Texts'

I woke up this morning to the sound of my cell, right on time, @ 6am.

A couple bullsh*t emails, 1 from work, but yours came at 6:10.
 

'Are we still on for tonight Mr? I got something new at the store...

Last night I had the greatest dream, another fantasy to explore :)'
 

I checked todays schedule, "yes ma'am, I'm not traveling today.

Come 4:01, to you I'm on the way"
 

'I've got the food, to keep you strong,

And woke up angry, so you better make it LONG!'

 
"I like it when you tell and not ask, reminds me of 3 weeks ago,

I said 'baby you have to get to him' but you said, "dont stop, no...No...NO!"
 

'Yea I know...you like being told…to do the things that I enjoy

It’s like having my own… 6'7... 210 pound…chocolate sex toy'

 
"See there you go with that sexy talk, you know what turns me on....

Bad news love, I gotta run, jobsite fire alarm"
 

'Hurry sir and come to me, don't leave me here alone,

I'm in the tub, soapy wet, you've got till the bubbles are gone'
 

"I've got you ma'aml, you know I'm running, as fast as I can go,

I'll see you when I get done here, for you, I'll always show"
 

'Thank you sir, you be careful at your site...

Remember I'm extremely hungry..hurry up cum feed my appetite :)"
 

"I'm done already here I come, 10 minutes and I'm there...

Just rounded the corner, coming down the street, uh oh, I see his Cavalier"