The "Wtf" experience

The "WTF" experience:

Ever been in a situation that leaves you in a perpetual state of "what the f*ck?" Like your taken so off guard by it that you walk away saying "what the f*ck?" Sure you have, we all have been before. At some point in everyones life they're like "what the f*ck". Now don't be mad that I'm cussing because I told you that there would be moments of foul langauge. If your unaware of this I invite you to go back to August and read: [Enjoy the words I write..or not..either way they're mine] as well as everything else up to this point from that point. But anyway, where was I? Oh yea, "what the f*ck", my moment of "what the f*ck"came a several weekends ago in Baltimore.

If I haven't said it yet, I'll say it now, I love my sidejob! I really do. Its easy work, all I have to do is be myself and talk. Its just as easy as working a bar except there are no drinks but for the sake of argument, we'll say I was "tending bar" at this wedding. I've been "bartending" a while now so this wedding was really nothing out of the ordinary. Bride in white, Groom in black, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, parents, guests, DJ, and servers. I'm doing my thing, making people laugh, inviting people back for more, training the new girl, making tips and all around having a good time. Nothing new, its work and like I said, I love my job and I always look good doing it.

So we're about an hour away from calling it a night. By this time the reception has thinned in guests but the hall is still relatively full. Finally, there was a break in the line that seemed to never stop from the time we started up, and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I let the trainee know I'd be back and headed towards the exit doors of the hall. At this moment is where my journey down the "what the f*ck" path started.

In leaving my station I knew I had to return quickly, not that the trainee didn't have grasp of the situation, but there were several cute girls in line. So in leaving, I told myself I said "self, here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna walk out into the bathroom, go, finish, wash my hands, check my tie, check my nose, leave, come back in the room, try to swing by the buffet and get 1 more crab cake, then back to my station" boom, sounds easy enough. Ready, good, go and out the door hall I went.

I passed 4 guys outside the hall which is coincidentally also right outside the entrance to the bathroom. By now I'm thinking, "nothing new here, people mill outside the reception hall all the time, almost to the bathroom, open the door, and "what the f*ck?". At this point my mind stopped processing and immediately went into red alert. I stopped in the middle of my second step through the door, promptly placed my foot down forcing an immediate pivot, turned around and out the bathroom I went. Total time in the bathroom, 3.5 seconds and no I didn't even get to go.

Why you ask? Because when I walked in the bathroom I was immediately greeted to the sight of 2 guys (1 groomsman, 1 guest) in front of the mirror. Very close to eachother, we'll say "hugging", while 1 was whispering in the others ear while.....(wait for it).... his hand was inserted in the zipper area of the other guys pants. "WHAT THE F*CK?!?!"

Thats exactly what my eyes were saying while my brain was telling my body to promptly remove myself from the bathroom. As the door closed behind me with a facial expression that resembled a state of confusion, the 4 guys who I originally passed on my way in, were still there, 2 of which appeared to be figetting. I paused and looked at all standing there, turned back to look at the bathroom door then turned back around where 1 guy was now saying "now you know why we're all out here, join the line". At that point I went back to work because the desire to use the bathroom had left, like completely.

Minutes later I'm back at doing what I do best and I look over to my left and about 20ft away, the same 2, are now out of the bathroom and gravitating near the dance floor. Based on the recently witnessed events, there was no doubt that they were having a good time, so at this point it was no surprise that they were whispering in each others ears, laughing and touching. And then..Beyonce's "Single Ladies" song came on and again I had a "what the f*ck" moment.

Why you ask, (yet again)? Because now the 2 guys were beginning to dance. The trainee began commenting on how 'in love' they were with eachother, which, was very obvious, but even she said "wow" when the "uh oh" part of single ladies came on a 1 guy started doing the Beyonce booty shake against the other. My mind went blank at that point and as soon as the house lights came on, we packed up and out the door we went.

Now... I don't have a problem with homosexuals. Lets get that clear! I was simply caught off guard by the things I had the unfortunate pleasure of witnessing. It reminds me that clearly not everyone is like everyone else. Not all people like the same thing or gender, and thats perfectly fine. But in the bathroom, in front of a mirror, not in one of the 4 stalls, at a wedding...what the f*ck?